I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize