HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
