when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
