Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
