I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
