have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
