im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
