Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize