I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I look excited, but its just a facade.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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