If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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