the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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