Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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