She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
