i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Well I just put wine in my tea
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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