your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
