I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
