Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
