You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
