I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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