i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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