Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
