Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I currently don't understand fingers.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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