im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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