I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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