When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
