that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
