spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
