Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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