Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
