Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
