Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
