Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
