But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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