I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
