you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
