I must be too annoying 4 u.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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