This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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