yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
