I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
false alarm. still invincible.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
