I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
