watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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