Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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