I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
