So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
