I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Panties = found
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
