Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Randomize
