No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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