why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
