There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
