cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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