Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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