You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
