Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
